When My Heart Was Crushed as in a Winepress

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Here is another excerpt from the journal of a priest that I quoted yesterday. Readers may find it a timely help as we move towards the end of the Year of the Priesthood.

I Make Myself A Beggar Before Them

"My Heart grieves over so many priests who have no desire to approach Me in the Sacrament of My Love. Their hearts have grown cold, but My Heart burns with love for them still. How I suffer from their coldness, their indifference, their lack of desire for Me and for the friendship I offer them. I make Myself a beggar before them. I plead with them to accept My friendship and to give Me each day but an hour of their time. So much of their time is wasted pursuing things of no value, things of no consequence, and I, all the while, wait for them to come to Me.

Will They Hear My Call?

Will they hear my call during this Year for Priests? Will they turn from the perishable things that fascinate them and hold them enslaved, and turn to Me who will make them truly happy, and Who will give them what no creature can?

A Revolution of Love

My priests are in need of a great revolution: a revolution of love. I have seen the lives of so many priests; I know their sufferings. Nothing is hidden from Me. I will raise up a company of faithful friends of My Heart, priest adorers of My Eucharistic Face. I will gather them together as once I gathered the Twelve in the Upper Room, and will speak to them heart to heart as a man speaks to the friends he has chosen for himself. I will heal those who are wounded. I will refresh those who are weary. I will sanctify them all, but only if they heed My appeal and, following the sound of My voice, seek Me out and learn to abide in My presence. This is how I will renew My priesthood during this year of grace.

One Hour A Day

I do not ask that my priests live all the day in church, as did my faithful servant John Vianney, but I do ask of every priest one hour in My presence, one hour in the light of My Eucharistic Face, one hour close to My Heart. Let them come to Me and I will do for them more than they can ask or imagine.

Come Into the Cenacle

I am calling My priests into My company. I am pressing them to come into the Cenacle and, there, to be radiant in the light of My Face. I would have them listen to the secrets of My Heart, to those secrets that I have reserved for this generation and for the joy of My Spouse the Church in this year of grace.

Console Me

As for you, be the consoler of My Eucharistic Heart. Abide in My presence. Speak to Me as the Holy Spirit moves you to speak. Listen to Me and receive the words that I address to you, words that communicate something of the fire of love that blazes in My Heart for you and for every priest of Mine.

Console Me, console Me, for My own have rejected Me. Console Me, for I am forsaken by those whom I chose for Myself, expecting that they would respond to My love with love, and to My tenderness with a like tenderness. You, at least, give Me all the tenderness of your heart, and know that My Heart is open to you to receive you and to be the sanctuary of your priesthood here and in the world to come."


Healing in the Sufferings of His Priestly Heart

"My Heart overflows with Merciful Love for my priests. There is not one of them for whom I would not suffer the most bitter betrayals and humiliations of My Passion over again, so great is My desire to see every priest of Mine made whole, washed clean in My Precious Blood and sanctified in the fire of the Holy Spirit. All that I suffered once -- especially the sufferings of My priestly Heart -- remains available until the end of time to the priests of My Church, the chosen friends of My Heart. My suffering remains for them a wellspring of healing, and from My wounds there flows for my priests a balm of purity and of love. If only My priests would approach Me and apply to themselves the merits and power of My most bitter Passion and of My most Precious Blood!

I Saw Each One's Sins

There were moments in My Passion -- the darkest moments of all -- when My Heart was crushed as in a winepress, beneath a weight of sorrow that no words can describe: when I was suffering particularly for My priests. I saw them passing before Me, a seemingly endless procession until the end of time. I saw each one's sins, each one's betrayals, sacrileges, and coldheartedness. I saw too those who lived and walked in the light; these were My consolation, and in each of them I saw the influence of My Most Pure Mother. She formed them for Me, and this she will continue to do until the last priest is ordained and the sacraments I gave My Church pass into the blaze of glory that they signify in time. I looked into the eyes of each of My priests. In some I saw a burning love and a desire to please Me in all things. I others I saw a mercenary spirit, an inability to move past the necessary organization of My Church into the mysteries for which she came forth from My wounded Side, and received the Holy Spirit at the Third Hour on Pentecost. In still others I saw a terrible indifference, a loss of the First Love, a betrayal of all that My priesthood represents. It is these who added immeasurable sorrow to the sufferings I endured.


In this Year of the Priest I ask for priestly souls to console Me and to make up for what is lacking still in a part of My priesthood. For the coldness of so many I ask for an undivided and tender love. For the indifference of so many I ask for a holy zeal. For the irreverence of so many I ask for a renewed awareness of My Divine Majesty and of the holiness that befits My sanctuaries.

Return to the Wound in My Side

The time is measured and it will pass quickly. Let My priests return to the wound in My Side. Let them follow the beacon that shines from My Eucharistic Face to drawn them into My presence. I wait for them. With a great desire I desire their company and the consolation that only they can offer My pierced Heart."

July 2009
From In sinu Iesu, the Journal of a Priest


Thank you Father Mark for all the hard work you do in continuing to write such lovely posts every day. I know it must be hard to be a Priest during this difficult time of history. It is also hard to be a lay woman that loves the Faith. These are hard times. But God chose us to live now and we all have to continue to believe He will bring good from all this. I am aware EVERY single day of the importance of my decision to be a "Spiritual Mother" and thanks for the inspiration to persevere.

Father, is this a published collection of reflections?

I will take a copy of this with me this coming week to Adoration to weep with our Lord over the state of the priesthood, in hopes of consoling his most Sacred Heart. It surprises me sometimes...the depth of heartpain that can accompany the prayers and sacrifices of spiritual motherhood for priests; a precious but often agonizing privilege! Your words, Fr. Mark, and the words of others that you share with us, help to sustain me in this hidden vocation. Thank you so very much. Words cannot expresss the depth of my gratitude. May God bless and keep you in His gaze.

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About Dom Mark

Dom Mark Daniel Kirby is Conventual Prior of Silverstream Priory in Stamullen, County Meath, Ireland. The ecclesial mandate of his Benedictine community is the adoration of the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar in a spirit of reparation, and in intercession for the sanctification of priests.

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